


heathers/gentlemens club AU (working title)

by Sarcastic chansaw (Demeandbomba)



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/F, Heathers AU, but I think it'll be good, created a character for this too, lets call him james, she says, this is a silly au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:35:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demeandbomba/pseuds/Sarcastic%20chansaw
Summary: whats this? an au no one asked for? your damn right it is!chansaw and macduke and a supportive Jason deanveronicas a dancerchandlers in an engagement she doesn't want to be inthey meet and chansaw ensues
Relationships: Heather Chandler & Veronica Sawyer, Heather Duke/Heather McNamara, heather chandler/OC
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

“Come on heather!, a bachelorette party is just what you need!” Mac was trying to get heather up off the couch but failing each time “why won’t you have one?” Chandler groaned “because that would mean I’d have to get married and I don’t want to think about the wedding my parents planned even though I’m 24 years old but apparently we live in the olden times where I have to get married and have a fucking child before I’m 30”

duke was lay across the other couch on her phone “Chandler get the stick out of your ass, go and get turned on by a shirtless guy thrusting his junk in your face” chandler frowned “you really think thats what turns women on?” “I don’t know I’m not straight I don’t know what you people like” chandler threw a pillow at dukes head “your a fucking idiot” she sat up and looked at Mac who had a sad look on her face

“don’t give me that look Mac please, I just don’t want to think about this marriage and a bachelorette party is just reminding me of the inevitable you know” Mac pouted “come on heather, we won’t even call it a bachelorette party just 3 girls hanging out and maybe we’ll wear party hats and give you sash that says bride to be” heather glared “okay okay no sash but lets get blackout drunk and make bad decisions!” Heather thought it over, she could definitely use a good distraction from having to walk down the aisle to a guy she barely knew, “fuck it! Let’s go” duke looked up from her phone, “what? Now?” “Yeah come on! Let’s get me hammered ladies”.

* * *

“Why are you like this Jason?” Veronica kicked his legs off the table and stepped in front of the tv “ronnie!, I was about to blow this zombies brains out!” “Dude come on, the citizens of raccoon city can wait, time to go to work” jd groaned and got up off the couch “I thought you said you were gonna quit, something about you being sick of the men that shout at you to get naked” “yeah well, we need money, you work there too” “as a bartender, I charge those guys three times extra, your welcome by the way, I managed to pay for a full 2 months worth of groceries”

“I know I know, okay come on, by the end of the month we’ll have quit our jobs and moved on to better things and finally have a pool that’s our own and not a shared one that’s full of god knows what”.

JD nodded, “that’s all I ask” he got up and hugged his friend, “we’ll be fine, now let’s go, I’ll overcharge gross men for weak drinks and you can shake your ass to give them heart attacks” Ronnie rolled her eyes “I’m not a stripper I just dance” “yeah okay, I’ve seen how you dance, you deserve a lot more money than what you get” both of them laughed, “your damn right I do, maybe a Prince Charming will come and sweep me off my feet and take me to a big mansion” jd gasped “what about me?” “You can be our pet dog” she ruffled his hair “fair enough”

* * *

“A gentlemen’s club really?, isn’t that just a fancy word for a strip club?” “Maybe, but come on, it’ll be fun, plus it’s a good way to find out if your gay or not” chandler huffed at duke’s remarks “why not just ask outright if I’m gay?” Duke nodded “alright, are you interested in women?” Silence.

“Let’s just go and drink okay” chandler opened the door and was met with stares from the men inside, she heard whispers of “is that heather chandler? What’s she doing in a place like this?” “Apparently she’s marrying some rich kid” “she looks good in that dress” Chandler ignored the stares and remarks and moved them all to a secluded booth tucked away in the corner “does it ever get easier being stared at? Mac asked “I’ll let you know when it happens” a waiter brought over some shots “a treat from the bar miss chandler, please let us know if there’s anything else we can do” heather smiled “thank you…” “Jason, Jason dean, pleasure to meet you ladies” he shook all their hands “as I said let me know if there’s anything I can do” he bowed his head and moved away from the girls and back to the bar.

Mac looked through a menu when she saw something that caught her eye.

“Oooohh look we can get you a dance from someone called V, we’re definitely doing that!” Mac waved over a waiter as duke and chandler downed their shots, “so chan, do you really think they’ll make you get married?” The blonde sighed and played her fingers along the glass “yeah they will, they tried marrying me off when I was 18 to the same guy but I made some bullshit excuse that I needed to find myself first and travel, remember? That’s when I took you guys away with me” duke nodded “oh yeah I remember that, great vacation by the way, my tan looked amazing” heather smiled “your welcome” she turned to where mac was meant to be “where’s little yellow?”

Mac reappeared with a big smile on her face “chandler! Your about to have the greatest time of your life” her eyes widened “why?, what have you done Mac?” “Didn’t you hear me before, you can pay for a private dance so I got you one, she’s called Veronica” duke high fived Mac “way to go babe, oh don’t look like that chandler its a bit of fun”

chandler rolled her eyes “I told you I’m not gay, and since when did you call her babe?”

“What?, I can’t call my good friend babe every now and then?” Chandler narrowed her eyes between duke and Mac but carried on regardless “well anyway I’m not going so cancel it” just then a woman approached their table in an open black blazer, matching skirt and thigh high boots making heather swallow hard when she realised she was staring. Miss Chandler would you come with me” the brunette held out her hand for Chandler but she remained seated until duke kicked her foot and she jumped up a bit too enthusiastically, she grabbed her hand and let herself be dragged through the crowd of people that had gathered.

Heather decided to look down as she walked to ignore the stares

‘Great this will be everywhere tomorrow morning, can’t wait for that phone call’

Finally reaching a secluded part of the club she was pushed through a door and onto a red couch

“I should be so honoured that the heather chandler wants a dance from me”

heather gulped and picked at the soft couch that was underneath her “erm actually I didn’t ask for a dance my friend did, I have no interest in women” heather scanned her eyes around the room avoiding the brunette dressed in lingerie with a blazer draped barely over her shoulders and the tiniest skirt she’d ever seen.

‘What was even the point of the blazer and skirt? She may as well not have them on, wait!, I didn’t mean it like that’ she shook those thoughts from her head

Veronica cocked her head “I don’t know, the way you were staring at my ass when I brought you in here told me something else” she smirked at heather as the blonde squirmed and crossed her arms “I was not staring” she tried retaliating making Veronica laugh.

Veronica walked to where she was sat and straddled her “what are you doing?” Veronica giggled and moved down to her ear “there’s cameras in the room to make sure I’m safe during these ‘dances’ but they won’t pay me if they see me not doing anything” heather nodded “well I guess I don’t want you losing money” Veronica ran her hands along heathers neck and shoulder “your looking a little flushed there heather” she gave a small laugh “well yeah your sat on my lap” “you don’t seem to mind” she looked down and heathers eyes followed her to her hands gripping her thighs that were spread across her lap heather regained her composure and licked her lips “well I don’t want a beautiful woman like yourself falling so I need to make sure your safe”

“I thought you weren’t interested in women?” Veronica said smugly, “you can’t be any worse than my stupid fiancé”

“You don’t seem too happy about having a fiancé” “no not really, he’s a preppy millionaire with a huge ego and a small dick, so an all around jackass”

Veronica laughed out loud “oh wow, yeah I can see how that would be unimpressive” heather smiled

‘her laugh is pretty cute’

“How long do these things normally last?”

“About 7 minutes, I say we’ve got about 5 minutes left” heather hummed continuing the conversation “do you like dancing?” Veronica sighed “actually no, this is not a career choice I want, my friend and I were only here to make some money for the summer, that was 2 years ago”

“Damn that sounds tough”

“A little, obviously because I dance the men in here think it’s acceptable to grab or be really gross and I’ve learnt to ignore it, plus if anything happens that I’m not comfortable with I have a signal and security will come in and kick them out, so that’s nice when the younger guys try to pull me everywhere you know what I mean?” Chandler nodded sadly “more than you know, I went to a lot of parties when I was in high school and slept with some douchebags, I was nicknamed ‘the slut’ and the ‘school bicycle’

Veronica lifted her chin up and moved some hair out of her face tracing her fingers over her face down to her neck “and yet I’m the one dancing in a club in lingerie” they laughed and looked into the others eyes heather spoke after a while “I think I lied about being attracted to women” heather kissed Veronica tentatively unsure of if her kiss would be reciprocated, when Veronica lent into the kiss more heather smiled against her lips and moved one of her hands to wrap into her brunette hair pulling her closer, the kiss ended quickly but it was still enough to make both girls blush, they pulled away and smiled “do kisses cost extra?” Veronica cackled and slapped heather on the arm “you get that one for free for a nice conversation” they were interrupted by a knock at the door and a voice “miss Sawyer, miss Chandler your time is up” “thanks sam we’ll be out soon” Veronica got up from her lap and pulled heather up “well we better go” “yeah, thanks Veronica, maybe I’ll see you again?” Veronica smiled at the blonde “I’ll be here”.

Mac ran up to chandler when she saw her “heather!, how was it?” Chandler looked over at Veronica who winked at her “it was good Mac, come on lets get duke and go”.

* * *

“You seduced heather chandler!?” Jason smiled so wide Veronica was sure his face would be stuck like that “no, I just did my job and then maybe for some unknown reason we kissed!” “You know your not meant to kiss clients right, maybe a kiss on the neck but never on the lips” Veronica was pacing her dressing room “I know! But we were just talking and she said I was pretty and I was straddling her anyway and she lent in first!, so technically I didn’t kiss her she kissed me” Veronica calmed down and sat on the couch “her lips were so soft” jd fell down next to her “you honest to god like heather chandler don’t you?” His wide smile returned and she blushed “it was just a dance, I don’t fall in love with clients” jd huffed “keep telling yourself that Ron”

Veronica threw a pillow at him “your like a child” “but I’m right, you wanna fuck the business man’s engaged daughter” Veronica blushed “lets just go home, you sound like you need a cold shower” jd jumped up from the couch and followed Veronica out of the club “not as much as you probably do” he winked.

* * *

“I fucking knew you were gay!” heather covered duke’s mouth and shushed her “keep your fucking voice down did you forget we’re in public and people know who I am?” Duke nodded and she let go of her friend, climbing into the uber all girls sat in silence until duke spoke up “did you enjoy the kiss?” Chandler gave a small smile “…yeah I did, her lips were so soft” Mac squealed “you so loved it!”

Heather smiled and looked out the window until her phone vibrated

**Text message: 4:48am**

**James: heather where are you?, your meant to be home with me, I hope you’ve not gone out with the heathers again**

**Heather rolled her eyes “possessive bitch” typing back**

**Heather: you don’t control me, get over yourself I’m staying at heathers, don’t message me for the rest of the day**

She sent the message and turned her phone off. “Everything okay heather?” Mac asked “yeah just James being a bitch thinking he can tell me what to do, by the way I’m staying with you tonight” Mac smiled wide “absolutely! It’ll be like our high school sleepovers!” Duke rolled her eyes “great, now I’m not going to get any reading done” “like hell you will be reading” both heathers laughed and hugged duke tight.

* * *

James looked at the message and groaned “why is she being such a bitch?” heathers fiance was sat with his friend dan, dan asked “why are you marrying her if she doesn’t listen to you?” James shrugged and took a drink of his beer “parents set us up, they said it’ll be good for the family business, plus she’s such a hot snatch and she’s got a great mouth” they guys high fived “hell yeah man, maybe I can get a go sometime” “definitely, we can Eiffel Tower her, when she stops being annoying” the guys laughed and spoke more about the threesome.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trust me the chapters will get better, this is just reintroducing heather and Veronica and Jason being the captain of the chansaw ship, he's so invested. 
> 
> enjoy it lads and ladets

Sunlight filled the room as heather woke up slowly, taking in her surroundings she saw duke and Mac cuddled on the couch she smiled ‘I knew it’ She picked up her phone and turned it on when it turned on she was met with what she expected, 30 missed calls from her mother 24 missed calls from her father a few text messages and a text from her stupid fiancé.

She sighed and got up from the couch she slept on and went to the bedroom so the other girls didn’t hear all the abuse that was going to get thrown at her through the phone, she rang her mother and waited for her to answer “heather Elizabeth chandler! Where the hell have you been, apparently you’ve been at a strip club?! Your father is trying to calm the media down before this becomes a shitshow! What do you have to say for yourself?”

Chandler rubbed her head from all the shouting she was doing “well good morning to you my loving mother, I was actually at a gentlemen’s club, a respectable business might I add, and it was for my bachelorette party, you know since I have to get married because you and dad decided I need to be married to a sleaze ball” she heard her mom sigh from the other side of the phone and waited for her response. “Okay, just come home Heather, we all need to talk to you” “fine I’ll be there in 20 minutes” she hung up and groaned looking up to the ceiling “did I do something wrong in a former life? Why do you have to fuck me over like this?”

“Everything okay Heather?” Mac asked as chandler made her way down the stairs throwing on some clothes and picking up her car keys “yeah Mac thanks for letting me stay but I’ve got to go and face whatever punishment they have for me at home” "okay, call us to tell us how things go" chandler kissed Mac on the cheek and gave duke a smile "I will do Mac, see you guys later".

* * *

  
“Well look who decided to show up, little miss sunshine” James was stood outside the front door waiting for his fiancé, heather walked straight past him

“Get lost James I don’t have time for you today” James walked behind her and grabbed her arm pulling her back into his chest “so, were you cheating on me with some slut at a strip club?”

“Fuck you” she spat out as she pushed him away and walked through the house coming to her father’s office and knocking on the door “come in”.

* * *

“Good morning heather chandler seducer!” JD was sat at the table eating breakfast when Veronica finally made her way downstairs at 11am.

“Did you have pleasant dreams?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her “Jason stop” she smiled and poured a cup of coffee sitting down with JD “so, are you gonna see her again?”

“We didn’t have a date she was just a client that I happened to kiss and I may have some feelings for” Veronica tried hiding the smile threatening to escape her but failed miserably

“You’ve got it bad! I can’t wait to be the best man at your wedding” JD was picturing a beach wedding, family and friends, BBQ afterwards and then a full night of dancing to cheesy pop hits

“Snap out of it JD she told me she had a fiancé so fairytale over” she snapped her fingers in front his face breaking him out of his daydream “did she say she loved him?”

Veronica smiled remembering what Heather told her “actually she said he was a preppy millionaire with a huge ego and a small dick”

”He clapped his hands together “excellent! I’ll start planning the wedding now I assume you’ll wear a suit because you look good in one, but what color?.........” Veronica let JD ramble off his wedding ideas ‘I kiss one woman and this is what I get’

* * *

“So what do you have to say for yourself heather?” Her father was sat at his desk staring at heather who was checking her phone not bothering to

“Im not 12 dad, I went to gentlemen’s club so what?, can’t a girl enjoy herself before she gets tied down?” James scoffed from next to her“Your the ones that’s tied down?, please I was getting so many girls and now I’m stuck here with the same snatch for the rest of my life”

Heather rolled her eyes “awe I can feel the love already, our honeymoon will be so much fun” “it will be if you let me bring my boys and a few strippers, hey we can invite the one you were with last night”

“I’d probably be a lot happier...” she mumbled under her breath

“Speak up heather and don’t slouch it’s not very ladylike” her mother barked at her to which she sat up but continued scrolling through her phone.

“Heather” her dad started “if your gay just tell us, we promise not to be mad or hate you” she looked up at him “It was a club and Mac paid her to dance for me, why would that make me gay?” “Well you don’t really seem to be interested in James and he’s very handsome” her mother gave James a shy smile"

James smiled and puffed his chest out happily “thank you mrs chandler”

“Fuck me with a chainsaw, why don’t you two just date?” She stood up and went to leave “where are you going young lady?” Her father asked.

“To get food or commit a crime, I’ll decide in the car” without waiting for a response she left and made her way back to the car and called duke “hey Heather what’s up?, do you still have to marry dickface?”

“Yep although I think mother has her eye on him so that’s gross, anyway tell your girlfriend to get ready we’re going to the mall I need some new dresses and something to eat and to re evaluate my life”

“We’ll be there, let’s meet at that nail bar mine are a mess”

Chandler nodded “alright see you there ladies”

* * *

Veronica and jd were still sat at the table, so far Veronica was having a beach wedding and her song walking down the aisle would be material girl by Madonna because, and these were JDs words, a queen needs a queen to sing her down the aisle, he finally stopped talking and clicked his fingers

“Earth to ronica?, are you on board with the doves putting the veil on your head?”

Veronica rolled her eyes and sighed “sure, whatever you want jd that’s what we’ll have”

"Good! Now come on we need to go to the mall, I need my slushie”

“You realise that’s probably a reason we don’t have a lot of money right? All your slushies”

Jd gasped “Veronica! How dare you blame me for our money problems, maybe sell some of the shoes you don’t wear my slushies give me energy-“

“And diabetes” she deadpanned

“Point taken come on, before we have to continue our terrible jobs, if your girlfriend comes in later tonight ask her for some money yeah?”

Veronica nodded “yeah sure, I’ll just skip the awkward mood that’ll probably be there and go straight to, ‘hey I know we don’t know each other and I told you the kiss was free but I lied the kiss actually costs $22,000 so pay up’

“That sounds perfect!, have you been practicing?”

She slapped his arm and stood to leave “let’s just go and get you your slushie”

* * *

“Okay let’s stop talking about my terrible love life and talk about you two, how long have you been fucking?” Mac choked on her drink and duke gasped “do you have to be so crass chandler?.............a few months”

Chandler widened her eyes “a few months?!, why didn’t you tell me?”

“You we’re going through some stuff with James and your family and we didn’t want to cause anymore stress” Mac said sheepishly

Chandler put her hand on Mac’s shoulder “macki I’m thrilled for you and duke, my two best friends dating it’s wonderful!, but if you two break up I’m not choosing a side, on the other hand if you get married we’re definitely going to Vegas to celebrate”. She stood up “now I’ll get us some pizza, the usual?” The other girls nodded and chandler made her way to the food court.

* * *

“Jason leave it, she’s not interested in me have you seen the papers? ‘Heather chandler seen at stingy strip club going into a private room with a stripper’, they could’ve at least learnt my name” Veronica said sadly as she moved through the mall with jd close behind her with his favourite thing, a slushie.

“Okay I’ll stop but don’t beat yourself up about the papers Ronnie, they don’t know shit and as you say it was just you doing your job, tell them to get fucked, or I’ll do it you know how much I like telling people to fuck off” he smiled wide making Veronica laugh.

“I'll go and get some pizza, I assume you’ll be good without me for a while?” Veronica stood up “Sure, just don’t leave for too long, I’m like a dog, I might wonder off and cause trouble” he winked and slurped his slushie “at least we both agree your a dog”

She walked off hearing jd bark at her.

* * *

Heather was waiting in line for pizza when a voice broke her out of her thoughts “hey chandler, fancy seeing you here” heather groaned and turned around “hi dan I guess James told you to keep an eye on me?”

“Can’t a friend make sure you’re okay after a scandal?” “It wasn’t a scandal I got a dance from a woman at a club, I don’t see why it's such a big problem” she rolled her eyes and turned back around seeing the line move.

Dan put his hands on her shoulders “heather, your a spoiled girl living off of daddies money and engaged to a soon to be lawyer with a lot of money, maybe you should just stay at home and be a good house wife” heather spun around and pushed him to the ground “you better stay the fuck away from me Daniel, I'm no housewife and I never will be, and it’ll be cold day in hell if I marry your basted of a best friend, I know all about you and him wanting to ‘tag team me’ which is disgusting and something I’d never do especially with you two, how about you two get it over with and fuck each other with all this pent up sexual tension you both have” she spat out and stormed off out of the line leaving dan on his ass and the other heathers without pizza, she’d find something else.

Heather made her way through the mall and stepped outside moving to the smoking area, she was trying to quit….well no she wasn’t but if she kept thinking it surly one day it would happen, not today though. She pulled out her pack of smokes and took one out, searching her pocket she groaned ‘fuck me of course I don’t have a light’ she saw another person and asked for a light “hey do you have a lighter I forgot mine” “sure” the person turned around and both women stepped back “heather?” “My dancer” Veronica smiled “that’s a new one” she gave heather a wink making the blonde chuckle “sorry that rude of me”

Veronica waved her hand “its all good, Veronica, your dancer who seems to have gotten you in trouble” heather sighed and shook her head “the media literally have nothing better to do, is anyone giving you any trouble about it?, if they are tell me and ill sort it out”

“No, I don’t think anyone knows its me, not sure if you’ve noticed but I look very different to how I did at the club” she laughed and heather blushed remembering the outfit the brunette was in last night.

“Having pleasant thoughts?” Veronica laughed and heather looked away “just give me a light will you?”

She put the cigarette in her mouth and looked at Veronica for her light which Veronica gave her and she happily lit up and took a drag sighing happily afterwards.

“So, what brings you here then?”

Heather smiled “well its been a long bloody morning, my parents are being jerks my stupid fiancé is still a bitch and I didn’t get my pizza because his stupid friend is spying on me”

Veronica nodded and licked her lips “I’m kinda sorry I asked” “sorry I shouldn’t rant to you” she took another drag

“no no its okay, honestly I prefer to be here listening to you than with my friend right now, he’s been non stop talking all morning” both girls laughed.

Heather phone buzzed and she looked at who was calling her, she groaned when she saw the name “fucking great” Veronica looked on as heather answered the phone.

“What do you want pencil dick?”

Veronica held her hand over her mouth stifling a laugh

“I want to know why you assaulted dan?”

“I didn’t assault your fuck buddy he came over and pissed me off he deserved to be pushed to the floor, I’m just mad I didn’t kick him in the face too, so before you continue spewing your nonsense and bullshit don’t call me for the rest of the day” she hung up the phone and looked at Ronnie “do you think its too early to start drinking?”

“On the one hand yes because its 2pm but on the other hand I’m sure it’s 5pm somewhere”.

Heather smiled “I knew I liked you, come on then, lets go to a bar, bring your friend too”

Veronica thought about it, nope inviting jd would be the worst thing, especially with his wedding ideas “nah he’ll be fine, are you sure its good idea to go to a bar though?, won’t someone spot you and tell the media?” “Fuck them, I couldn’t care less, plus it’ll annoy my fiancé even more and that’s always funny to do”

Veronica smiled and nodded “alright, lead the way heather” they finished their cigarettes and walked off to get drunk at 2 in the afternoon, always a good idea, right?.

**Author's Note:**

> No I don’t know what this is, but yeah it’s something, enjoy the best you can 😂
> 
> My tumblr is hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch if you want some quality terrible blogging 😬


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